Catch Up, Obedience & Self Control....

Once again, almost 2 months has passed since I posted last.  Ugh.  So much for my intentions to post weekly.


So, in the last few months it's pretty much been life as usual.  The kids are keeping me busy.  Shae' is growing like everything.  She'll be 6 months next week!  I'll have a blog next week just for her and update you on all her progress.  Carter is getting sweeter I do believe (is that even possible?!)  He has gotten SO loving lately....lots of hugs for everyone.  It's really sweet.  I've been making myself slow down more as of late and take some special time with him each day.  He is like a sponge these days....soaking up any and everything we can teach him.  One of the things we've started with him is Scripture memorization.  We started with Ephesians 6:1 "Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right."  He had it down overnight.  It's written out for him and tacked to the wall by his bed.  We recite it every night and every morning.  He LOVES it!  We've now added Deuteronomy 6:4, "Hear O Israel: the Lord our God is one Lord"  It's so precious to hear your child quoting Scripture :)


I must say, the last month or so has been a time for big changes around here.  We've really been evaluating our parenting and reading some helpful books and ways to improve certain areas.  We've adjusted some of what we were doing, and implemented new ideas as well.  It's been amazing already the changes I'm seeing.  Two of our main focuses at this time with Carter are: first time obedience & self control.


I'll start with first time obedience.  This one is a stinker because it requires a lot of effort on the part of the parent.  If first time obedience is expected, and the child knows that is the requirement, then EVERY time it is not carried out, there must be consequences.  Well, as a parent, it's too easy sometimes to give a command, but not really follow through if it's not done right away.  Example:  "Carter, pick up your toys now".  Carter then continues to play with them, ignoring my command.   All too often I would then repeat myself several times, possibly even end up in the floor showing him what I want done and MAYBE even picking them up myself.  NOT the idea here!   Another big one for us is, "Carter, come to mommy".  Well, when I say that, I expect him to come right away.  If he does not, or if I have to repeat myself, it is not obedience.  Anything less than FIRST TIME obedience is not true obedience.  If I have to repeat myself in order for the command to be carried out, then it is not true obedience.  One last thing on this subject:  I must be careful as a parent not to give a command when I really don't care if it's carried out.  I have to say what I mean and mean what I say.  




Moving on to self control.  Oh my...this one seeps into EVERY single aspect of all that we are doing with training our children.  From the time they are mobile and start reaching out to touch off limit objects around the home, the self control training begins.  Instructing a 6 or 7 month old to "not touch" is simply teaching them self control.   I must say Carter was so easy with this part of self control training.  He learned early what he could and couldn't touch.  Even now, I don't have to worry about him around the house.  He knows what is off limits and is good about leaving those things alone.  I've never understood people who 'baby proof' their house.  I believe in 'house proofing' your baby.  When you remove all temptation from a child, you are missing the opportunity to train them in self control.  
Self Control is even tied in with the first time obedience.  It takes self control for a child to stop what he is doing to immediately come to the parent when called.  This is something we are working on with Carter now.  In an effort to try and make it fun, I've even started giving random commands when he doesn't expect them.  Example:  We are reading a book together and I may suddenly stop and say, "Carter, run a touch the door and come back to Mommy"  This seems silly, but when he jumps up right away and runs to touch the door and come back, he just exercised self control and first time obedience.  And I praise, praise, praise and he thinks it was the most fun thing ever.  I could go on and on (but I won't!).  You can think of many other examples I'm sure of how important self control is and how crucial it is our children learn it.  Just remember this:  The primary goal of Christian parenting is to teach our children self control. 


So, on to the big changes I mentioned.   I guess the changes are really not so obvious to the outsider, but a lot of them are mental for me.  My mind has been spinning with this topic of self control, and I must say I have been so convicted lately with it all.  Not only convicted because I felt like I was failing in some areas to teach this important character trait to my children, but convicted because I realized how many areas of my own life where it was lacking.   How can I teach my child to exercise self control if I fail to exercise it myself?  It seeps into the little areas of life we don't always think about.  Self control in getting out of bed when don't feel like it, or eating what I should, or exercising my body like I should, reading my bible, prayer time, keeping my home clean, etc. etc. etc.  A lot of these things comes down to managing my time wisely, which takes self control.  I mean, can I really teach my son self control when I can't even exercise enough of it to say 'no' to those cookies in the pantry?  I know, this sounds silly, but this is how my mind has been working lately.  I'm working very hard to lose my pregnancy weight right now and the whole food/exercise thing is very close to the surface for me.  And do you know the weeks I have the most success with my weight loss?  Yep, the week when I exercise the most self control with my eating. 
Okay, so maybe weight loss doesn't relate to you?  How about this one (and I must admit, this one hurts even MORE than the weight loss one!):  Self control in my SPENDING.  How can I teach my children self control when I can't say 'no' to those darling shoes I passed by at the mall?  I don't NEED those shoes, maybe I can't even afford those shoes, but I love them, so I buy them.  It all comes down to a lack of self control.
So, you see what I mean about self control seeping into EVERY aspect of our lives pretty much.  For me, it's been working on how I use my time, and avoiding giving into every urge and whim I may have (food/spending, etc.) (and believe me when I say it's a work in progress!) Self control is all about bringing this flesh under subjection.  Fasting has been another great way for our family to work on this.  We have devoted Thursdays as our fast/quiet days.  Even the kids fast.  It's not always from food, but we have dedicated this day to be our 'quiet day', meaning no computers, no music/radio, no dvd's.  We simply spend the day reading together and playing quietly.  Carter and I have devotions together on these days and even spend time in prayer together.  We've just recently started this, but is has quickly become my favorite day of the week already!  


Okay, I must stop now!  See what happens when I go two months without posting?  If you have made it all the way to the end of this blog, congratulations!  I hope you aren't bored to tears and I hope that something I've posted has caused you to stop and think. 


Happy Friday!