FINALLY!

It's been a big week around here.  After months of getting hardly any sleep at night, Shae' has finally started to sleep better.  I think the Lord knew I was at my breaking point, because it happened at a time when I literally thought I was going to lose it.  Sleep deprivation is a nasty thing.  My sweet girl is almost 9 months old and it has been such a blur to me thanks to lack of sleep.  We were literally at the point of her waking every hour (every 2 if it was a good night).  So I was basically sleeping in 45 minute increments throughout the night.  This went on for about 2 solid months...EVERY night.  Tom would help out some on the weekends, but she would scream like crazy when he would get up with her...she wanted Mama.  Most times, I would end up with her anyway because he just couldn't calm her down.   So, you can only imagine how exhausted I've been.  Most days I would not get a nap during the day due to being too busy with the kids.  And even the days I did get one, it just wasn't enough to make up for the lack of sleep at night.  It was to the point that I felt sick all day from lack of sleep, nauseous, headaches, etc.  I finally caved and decided to just let her cry.  It was that or ship her off to Grandma's.  One way or another, I had to get some sleep!


So this is how we did it:   I started on Friday, with her first nap of the day.  Instead of rocking her like we usually do, I just laid her in her bed and said nite nite.  I then sat in the floor of her room with my back to her.  She stood and started screaming...and screamed....and screamed.  I tried staying in there and letting her see me, but not speaking to her, etc.  But after 30 minutes of this (a very stressful 30 minutes) I realized that this method was not going to work with her.  So I left the room.  She cried for an hour total at that nap.  I went in every 15 minutes or so and laid her down and patted her back.  This is how she ended up falling asleep.  Nap 2:  I laid her down and left the room.  She cried for 20 minutes.  After 15 I went in a patted her back and this is how she fell asleep.  Bedtime:  I read her books and cuddled, then laid her in bed, patted her back while I sang to her softly, then left the room. She cried for 12 minutes and then laid down and went to sleep.  I never went in that time.  She woke up once a few hours later and cried for less than a minute and was back asleep.  She slept the rest of the night.  This pattern continued for several nights.  Then on Monday night, she slept the entire night without waking at all.  The last 2 nights she's woken up and I've actually ended up in there rocking her, but overall it's been a good week!    We're not where my goal for her is yet (12 hours of continual sleep) but we are on the right track!  She's done 8-9 hours continual sleep this week more than once.  She is still not taking in very much solid food, mostly breastmilk still, so she can't go as long as I'd like because she gets hungry too soon.  But I'm at least seeing the light at the end of the tunnel! 


So yes, most of my FB posts have related to this topic, and so have some of my blogs, and yes, you are probably tired of hearing about it all, but this has been my life lately.  Everything else has been secondary to trying to get some SLEEP!   My time with Carter has suffered, my diet and workouts have suffered, my ability to be the wife and mother I want to be has definitely suffered....but thankfully we're on the right track.  I'm still not feeling 100% (one week is not going to make up for months of no sleep!) but I'm certainly feeling a thousand times better than I have in a long time.

                                                                   sleeping in church

                                                                    such a stinker!




The other breakthrough around here is that Shae' FINALLY started saying "Mama" yesterday!  I can't believe it took her so long, but she's saying it now :)  "Mama" was Carters first word at about 8 months old.  Shae' was saying "Dada" by 6 months old.  Go figure she'd put me through so much sleeplessness and not even say my name for so long.  She is a stinker for sure!  But she's my stinker and I love her to pieces.  And somehow my love for her has grown since she's started sleeping better. HA!

catching up....

Oh boy...where do I begin?  I can't believe it's been so long since I posted, but then again I can.  What have I been up to?  Well...walking around in a fog sounds about accurate.  Sweet baby Shae' has been going through a horrible phase of waking up all through the night.  *sigh*  It started months ago when she was ready for solids, but everytime we gave them to her it hurt her tummy too bad.  Well, after taking her to a natural healing specialist, thank goodness that has gotten better.  She's been eating rice cereal for over a week now along with other foods, and has had no tummy issues from it!  This in itself has been an answer to many, many prayers.  We're still trying to get the food thing figured out...she doesn't show a lot of interest in baby food, and there's not much table food she can have yet, so it's a slow going process....but at least it's going!


Teething has also been a recent issue.  It has kept her up at night as well.  It just feels like one thing after another around here.   The last few nights I don't even know what the issue has been.  I'm beginning to think she just hates me at night.....because she is a doll baby during the day.  Happy, naps well, content.....but when bedtime comes that all goes out the window.  There have been nights in the last few weeks where I have literally been up every hour with her.....this has led me to being pretty much delirious.  I feel so sleep deprived I can't think straight during the day, I'm tired all the time, etc. etc.  *insert violins here*


So....that has been the last 6 weeks or so for me it seems.  Oh, we've had some good days, they are just followed by really bad nights.  


On a positive note:  this crazy girl has started crawling, pulling to her knees, standing on her feet and even walking along furniture a bit all in the last month.  She's everywhere!  I do not remember Carter being this active...and he certainly wasn't this young.  She wants to walk so bad.....I really think she'll be doing it before I know it.   Needless to say, as a result of her pulling up on everything now, we've had lots of bumps and bruises going on.  She's one tough cookie, though and just keeps going :)


I better brag on Carter for a minute too :)  My smart just-turned-3 year old is learning so rapidly I hardly feel I can keep up!  He knows all of his letters, the sounds they make, can spell his name, write his name and can even read a few words.  He's learning how to sound out the letters to make the words.  I'm so amazed at how fast he's learning!  And he LOVES letters!  He is constantly reading off the letters he sees written in books, on vehicles, stickers, anywhere!   I am going to start him in the ABC's of ACE program this fall.  I know it's a kindergarden program and he's only preschool age, but I really think he's ready for it.  We'll see anyway!


Ahhh....so that's my life in a nutshell!  Now you see why I haven't posted much....although everyday has been something new around here,  it comes out sounding more or less boring in a post :)

Carter's 3!!!

I must confess to getting a little emotional last night when it came time to put Carter in bed.  As I was reading to him I couldn't stop thinking that my sweet baby, my 1st baby, is now a big boy. :( *sniff*  I know people say this all the time, but it REALLY does feel like yesterday that I was heading to the hospital to have him.  Roughly 22 hours after checking in to the hospital, our sweet baby boy arrived!  I can still feel that excitement!  I love both of my babies, but there is definitely something special about the first born.  That excitement and anticipation of being a first time parent, learning everything for the first time....it's all so special.  

So...about my Carter....

  He is the sweetest little boy I know.  He is SO helpful, loves to clean up his toys, help mommy around the house, help daddy in the yard.   He surprises me so often with what all he is capable of when it comes to working and cleaning.   I'm so thankful he has inherited his daddy's servants heart.  He is a giver, through and through. :)   And loving.....he will give hugs and kisses to pretty much anyone.  He loves to cuddle and won't go to sleep at night without a hug.   When he sees his mommy, daddy or sister act like they are in pain, he wants to know where is their "boo boo"?  When you show him, he will pray for you, then kiss it.  Then he'll ask, "all better?"  

  He's the best big brother....always concerned about "baby Shae'".  He gets upset when she has to take a nap because he wants her in the room with him.  Every morning when he sees her for the first time, he smiles and gives her a big hug and kiss.  I can't wait to see their relationship grow.

  He's learning like crazy right now.  He knows his alphabet, most of his shapes and colors and can count to 20.  He can spell his name and quote several scriptures.  He also knows COUNTLESS songs.  I'm amazed by this.  He will hear a song one time and a week later I'll hear him singing it out of the blue....and he'll know all the words.  The kid amazes me with something new everyday. 

  I love you Carter.  You have changed our lives forever.  You are just what our family needed.   

Below is a song I wrote for Carter when he was newborn.  I sang it to him everyday for at least the first year.  Now he can sing it with me and we sing it together to Shae' sometimes :)

"I love you Carter

 I love you Carter

Yes, oh yes, oh yes I do

I love your little toes

And your button nose

I love you Carter

I love you Carter

Yes, oh yes, oh yes I do

And when you grow up

When you're all grown up

I'll still be loving you"

Happy Birthday Carter!!!

His last night as a 2 year old :)

His birthday breakfast :)

My handsome little man :)

Happy Half Birthday Shae'!

Seriously?  I just can't BELIEVE it's been six months already!  They have flown by (and been quite the blur).   I have lived in a constant state of second-guessing myself, working on her sleep, her schedule, her tummy issues, you name it! HA.  She is DEFINITELY female :)  Very high maintenance.


My sweet girl weighed in at her six month checkup at 17.5 pounds, and is 27 inches long!  She is in the 80% for weight and 90% for height.  We like our babies big :)  She is becoming very active now.  She reaches for EVERYTHING...nothing is safe around her (which keeps us on our toes)  She is rolling all over the place.  Last night she started at one end of the living room and before I knew it she had rolled around the coffee table, across the room and over by the sofa.  She's outgrown the swing now but is enjoying the jumper/bouncer.  She is also sitting in the high chair now, which makes her look SO much more grown up :(

As for her eating....well...that's still an issue.   This girl has one sensitive tummy :(  Her doctor said all I can do is trial and error with foods.  So far we've tried:  prunes, rice cereal, oatmeal, applesauce, carrots, pears and avocado.  The only thing that hasn't hurt her is the pears and avocado.  Everything else has made her so gassy and fussy...to the point of waking at night screaming with a tummy ache. :(  I'm working on finding more foods she can handle.  But even the avocado and pears, it's slow going. It will take her 2 days to eat one small jar of pears.  And she has more gas than normal with that even.  Any other mommy's out there that have had baby's with a sensitive GI tract?  I would love to hear what worked for you?  Her doctor said she should outgrow it by her first birthday.  Our issue is that she is not satisfied with the breast milk alone.  Oh, she loves it, but she started waking at night and early from naps because it wasn't keeping her full long enough.  Since she has become more active, she needs more calories.  So, my push to find food she can have is so she'll get full enough and stay full long enough.  And she's SUPER interested in everything we eat.  I know she's ready, her tummy just isn't I guess.  


Aside from her tummy, she's just a doll.  She smiles at EVERYONE she sees...my little social butterfly :)  And her eyes are so big and beautiful, her smile will melt you! (well, it does us anyway)  I love how happy she is.  And she adores her big brother.  She will watch him for the longest and when he gets close, she's reaching for him and trying to give him kisses.  It really is so sweet. 


There isn't much more to say about her.....you'd  just have to see her in person to really see her sweetness.  If you ever do get to see her, she'll give you the biggest smile and I promise you'll fall in love instantly :)


We love you baby Shae'!   Happy half-birthdy :)

 On her 6 month bday :)

 Smiling at daddy :)

The sweetest face EVER! 

Catch Up, Obedience & Self Control....

Once again, almost 2 months has passed since I posted last.  Ugh.  So much for my intentions to post weekly.


So, in the last few months it's pretty much been life as usual.  The kids are keeping me busy.  Shae' is growing like everything.  She'll be 6 months next week!  I'll have a blog next week just for her and update you on all her progress.  Carter is getting sweeter I do believe (is that even possible?!)  He has gotten SO loving lately....lots of hugs for everyone.  It's really sweet.  I've been making myself slow down more as of late and take some special time with him each day.  He is like a sponge these days....soaking up any and everything we can teach him.  One of the things we've started with him is Scripture memorization.  We started with Ephesians 6:1 "Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right."  He had it down overnight.  It's written out for him and tacked to the wall by his bed.  We recite it every night and every morning.  He LOVES it!  We've now added Deuteronomy 6:4, "Hear O Israel: the Lord our God is one Lord"  It's so precious to hear your child quoting Scripture :)


I must say, the last month or so has been a time for big changes around here.  We've really been evaluating our parenting and reading some helpful books and ways to improve certain areas.  We've adjusted some of what we were doing, and implemented new ideas as well.  It's been amazing already the changes I'm seeing.  Two of our main focuses at this time with Carter are: first time obedience & self control.


I'll start with first time obedience.  This one is a stinker because it requires a lot of effort on the part of the parent.  If first time obedience is expected, and the child knows that is the requirement, then EVERY time it is not carried out, there must be consequences.  Well, as a parent, it's too easy sometimes to give a command, but not really follow through if it's not done right away.  Example:  "Carter, pick up your toys now".  Carter then continues to play with them, ignoring my command.   All too often I would then repeat myself several times, possibly even end up in the floor showing him what I want done and MAYBE even picking them up myself.  NOT the idea here!   Another big one for us is, "Carter, come to mommy".  Well, when I say that, I expect him to come right away.  If he does not, or if I have to repeat myself, it is not obedience.  Anything less than FIRST TIME obedience is not true obedience.  If I have to repeat myself in order for the command to be carried out, then it is not true obedience.  One last thing on this subject:  I must be careful as a parent not to give a command when I really don't care if it's carried out.  I have to say what I mean and mean what I say.  




Moving on to self control.  Oh my...this one seeps into EVERY single aspect of all that we are doing with training our children.  From the time they are mobile and start reaching out to touch off limit objects around the home, the self control training begins.  Instructing a 6 or 7 month old to "not touch" is simply teaching them self control.   I must say Carter was so easy with this part of self control training.  He learned early what he could and couldn't touch.  Even now, I don't have to worry about him around the house.  He knows what is off limits and is good about leaving those things alone.  I've never understood people who 'baby proof' their house.  I believe in 'house proofing' your baby.  When you remove all temptation from a child, you are missing the opportunity to train them in self control.  
Self Control is even tied in with the first time obedience.  It takes self control for a child to stop what he is doing to immediately come to the parent when called.  This is something we are working on with Carter now.  In an effort to try and make it fun, I've even started giving random commands when he doesn't expect them.  Example:  We are reading a book together and I may suddenly stop and say, "Carter, run a touch the door and come back to Mommy"  This seems silly, but when he jumps up right away and runs to touch the door and come back, he just exercised self control and first time obedience.  And I praise, praise, praise and he thinks it was the most fun thing ever.  I could go on and on (but I won't!).  You can think of many other examples I'm sure of how important self control is and how crucial it is our children learn it.  Just remember this:  The primary goal of Christian parenting is to teach our children self control. 


So, on to the big changes I mentioned.   I guess the changes are really not so obvious to the outsider, but a lot of them are mental for me.  My mind has been spinning with this topic of self control, and I must say I have been so convicted lately with it all.  Not only convicted because I felt like I was failing in some areas to teach this important character trait to my children, but convicted because I realized how many areas of my own life where it was lacking.   How can I teach my child to exercise self control if I fail to exercise it myself?  It seeps into the little areas of life we don't always think about.  Self control in getting out of bed when don't feel like it, or eating what I should, or exercising my body like I should, reading my bible, prayer time, keeping my home clean, etc. etc. etc.  A lot of these things comes down to managing my time wisely, which takes self control.  I mean, can I really teach my son self control when I can't even exercise enough of it to say 'no' to those cookies in the pantry?  I know, this sounds silly, but this is how my mind has been working lately.  I'm working very hard to lose my pregnancy weight right now and the whole food/exercise thing is very close to the surface for me.  And do you know the weeks I have the most success with my weight loss?  Yep, the week when I exercise the most self control with my eating. 
Okay, so maybe weight loss doesn't relate to you?  How about this one (and I must admit, this one hurts even MORE than the weight loss one!):  Self control in my SPENDING.  How can I teach my children self control when I can't say 'no' to those darling shoes I passed by at the mall?  I don't NEED those shoes, maybe I can't even afford those shoes, but I love them, so I buy them.  It all comes down to a lack of self control.
So, you see what I mean about self control seeping into EVERY aspect of our lives pretty much.  For me, it's been working on how I use my time, and avoiding giving into every urge and whim I may have (food/spending, etc.) (and believe me when I say it's a work in progress!) Self control is all about bringing this flesh under subjection.  Fasting has been another great way for our family to work on this.  We have devoted Thursdays as our fast/quiet days.  Even the kids fast.  It's not always from food, but we have dedicated this day to be our 'quiet day', meaning no computers, no music/radio, no dvd's.  We simply spend the day reading together and playing quietly.  Carter and I have devotions together on these days and even spend time in prayer together.  We've just recently started this, but is has quickly become my favorite day of the week already!  


Okay, I must stop now!  See what happens when I go two months without posting?  If you have made it all the way to the end of this blog, congratulations!  I hope you aren't bored to tears and I hope that something I've posted has caused you to stop and think. 


Happy Friday!

Happy 4 Months Shae'

Once again I am amazed at how fast time goes.  My baby girl turned 4 months old yesterday! (well...I guess it was yesterday...born on the 29th, 28 days in Feb....yeah...something like that)   In some ways it feels like she was born yesterday, in other ways I feel like she's always been with us.  Crazy how that works.  A few things about my sweet girl.......


She is the sweetest thing.  No, really.  I know I complained enough in the beginning about her colic (or whatever it was) and not taking a bottle (she still won't) or pacifier (still doesn't) not sleeping well (thankfully, that's better), but she has become such a happy girl.  She reminds me so much of Carter at this age.  Everywhere we go she is stopping people with her smiles.  All they have to do is look at her and she's smiling at them.  It is so sweet.  She does the same with us of course.  Mommy is her favorite (if I was a baby, my food source would be MY favorite too), but she's really starting to notice Daddy more and lights up when she sees him for the first time of the day.  And Carter?  Oh my....it is going to be so sweet to watch them grow up together.....she LOVES him!  When he enters the room, she takes notice and is usually grinning ear to ear while watching him.  It is precious.  And thankfully he is so good with her.   It's really something to watch the love between them.  :)

So, like I mentioned, she still has never taken a bottle.  I kinda just gave up on that idea.  I still wished she did as it would be so nice to leave her for longer periods of time occasionally, or be able to feed her in a restaurant, etc.  But I've accepted it and am cherishing the time I have with her and the closeness we share.  I am working on the sippy cup and it's going okay.  I think in another few months she'll be able to drink from it.  Here's hoping anyway.


Her sleep has gotten better.  She takes 3 naps: morning and afternoon naps lasting about 2 hours each, late afternoon catnap of about 45 minutes.  Her nighttime sleep is about 12 hours with a quick 10pm feeding stuck in there.  That's the feeding I'm working to eliminate.  She'll sleep 9-10 hours straight, though, after the late feeding.  She's on a 4 hour routine now which makes my life SO much easier! 


She is very content.  She does not have to be entertained.  After she eats, she's fine on the playmat, bouncer, wherever.  I usually put her somewhere to play then leave the room for awhile.  Sometimes I'll put her in whatever room I'm in cleaning or cooking and she'll lay in her bouncer while watching me.  She is not one that has to be held all the time.

She's getting better in the car.  Neither of my babies have ever been good carseat babies.  People always talk about driving so their baby can fall asleep, etc.  HA!  My kids just scream in the car, so anywhere is less stressful than the car for us.  But she's getting better.  Starting to be more content and much, much less crying in the car.  We're taking a 5 hour road trip at the end of the month....we'll see then how good she is in the car. (oh boy)

So lots of rambling, but I figured I did enough complaining in the beginning that I needed to brag on her for a bit.  I love my sweet Shae' Shae' so much.  She has brought so much joy to our little family already.  And while I'm looking forward to the future and all the fun we'll have together, I'm enjoying the here and now and all the joy she is bringing to each day.  

Mommy loves you Shae'

It's not "okay?"!!!

   February is almost gone and I haven't blogged all month!  Time seems to get away so fast sometimes.  :/
  It's been a month of celebration for us around here.....starting with our wedding anniversary, followed by my birthday (I turned 30! YIKES!) then Valentine's Day.  It's been a great month!  Tom and I have enjoyed 3 date nights in the last month, which have been SO wonderful!  And we had such a sweet Valentine's Day as a family at home.  Have I ever mentioned how much I LOVE my little family?!  Well...just in case I haven't, I DO!  :)


  Hmmm...as far as the kiddos are concerned,  it's been pretty low key.  Shae' is growing like crazy, almost 4 months!  HOW did that happen SO fast?! :/   She is smiling ALL the time now, laughing out loud (SO sweet!) and rolled over for the first time last weekend.    Here's a few pictures of her from the last few weeks.....

Pretty in purple

Sweet little bunny :)

I had to throw in a pic of my silly boy!  Love this kid!!!

So now that I've rambled about my family, now onto my title.......


 "Words count.  They are critically important in the formation and organization of concepts that communicate thoughts, especially during this rapidly expanding period of vocabulary formation.  Speaking wrong words to a toddler, even with the best motives, can still send the wrong message."


  This was taken from the GFI  "The Toddlerhood Transition" book.  I have been once again reading through this book to see what areas of improvement I need to make with Carter.  I came across this chapter, "Sending Right and Wrong Messages" and was once again reminded of the importance of this subject.  
  It has always bothered me to hear a parent give their child a command and follow it with, "okay?"  I mean, really...THINK about this!  If you are giving a COMMAND to your child, why follow with, "okay?"  This is sending a mixed message to the child.  You are basically asking for permission while giving instructions.  It may sound like this, "Let's put the toy's away, okay?" or "Don't touch anything in the store, okay?"  Do we really need to add "okay?" to the end of our instructions?  No...because you do not need to ask your child's permission. "Okay?" or "All right?" at the end of an instruction sends the wrong message.  What you're trying to say "do you understand me?"  So why not just say that phrase instead?  Asking 'okay' only undermines your authority and redefines the meaning of obedience in the mind of the child.  
Another excerpt says, "Giving instructions to your child disguised as an option when no option is available is another misleading form of instruction."  Example:  it's naptime.  But instead of saying, You're going to take a nap", you give your child an option you don't really mean to give and say "do you want to take a nap?"  What if the child says "NO".  I mean, really...what toddler is going to say "yes" to taking a nap?   Too often we send the wrong message by giving options to our children when we don't intend on letting them choose.  There are times when giving and option is appropriate but not when true obedience is called for.  If you want your child to take a nap, or come to the dinner table or pick up his toys, then offering options will only cause conflict, not avoid it!


  This, to me, is such a hard habit to break!  I still occasionally catch myself or Tom saying, "Okay?" at the end of an instruction to Carter.  We've gotten better in the last 6 months or so (since reading this) at saying, "do you understand?" instead.   


  Next time you're giving your child instruction, think about how you are phrasing it.  Are you sending mixed messages to your child?  Remember to 'say what you mean and mean what you say'!  Just stop and ask yourself, "is this really what I want to say"?