"Those people"

For 7 weeks now, we have been trying to adjust to life with 2 children.  And what an adjustment!  Going from Carter, who was the 'perfect' baby...slept like a pro, happy all the time, would take any bottle, any pacifier, etc.  I mean...I had it made with him!  Then along came Shae'....my sweet princess, who just happens to be more difficult (I guess as a girl, she has to be, right?)  I will not lie....the last 7 weeks have been the most challenging, exhausting, frustrating weeks of my life.  Having a baby the cries almost everyday from 3p.m.-10 or 11p.m. is draining!  Oh..she doesn't cry the entire time...just fusses....and is not content....she'll be happy in the swing for 10 minutes, then cry....we hold her and she's good usually...sometimes she still cries even then.  She doesn't nap well at all the second half of the day.  Her doctor says this is caused partly from the reflux and partly from colic.  COLIC..ugh...I had been refusing to use that term with her...but after the last 2 days and the way she's been, I've been forced to face the facts:  I have a colicky baby.  There...I said it.  Now, the bright side to this is that colic usually disappears by 3 months.  We're only 5 weeks away from that.  5 weeks.  Needless to say, I'm praying daily that it goes away sooner!  


I don't want to make it sound like everyday is pure misery...that's not true at all.  For every 2-3 bad days, we have 1 really great day.  And it's that 1 great day that gets me through. :)  It also helps that she is SO stinkin cute!  I still lose by breath sometimes when I look at her...she gorgeous!  I'm very proud :)  She's at that stage now (even with the colic/reflux) that she smiles a lot and coos...talk about sweet!!!  I'm proud to say Mamma gets the biggest smiles too....as it should be, right? :)  Here's a couple of pics from this last week.  She's gorgeous, huh?

Ok..so as for my title.  "Those people".  Have you ever been out shopping and seen parents struggle with their kids?  You know...the ones who's kids are running through the store like hoodlums (whatever a 'hoodlum' is)?  "Those people" who's kids are screaming and making a scene?  Yeah...well, last week I realized something:  I AM 'those people'.   I've officially joined the club.  So what made me realize this?  Well...it could be that trip to Target we took one night last week.  I had waited for Tom to get home so we could go out and run a few errands. (I have yet to leave the house with both kids by myself!)  Here's what happened:  We enter Target.  Tom puts Carter in one cart, I put the car seat with Shae' in another.  All is well to begin with.  We split up to look for things.  As soon as I get into the store good, Shae' starts crying.  Well, screaming actually.  Tom finds me (all he had to do was follow the sounds of the screams!).  He takes Shae' out of the car seat to try and calm her.  We continue through the store.  Oh, at this point Carter is fussing wanting out of the cart.  I'm in a hurry to get out of the store.  Tom takes both kids and tells me to go ahead and get what I need.  I leave them to finish my shopping.  I'm down one aisle when all of a sudden I hear a crash and Carter crying.  Yep...he was standing in the back of the cart and fell out!  In the middle of the main walkway of the store.  Tom is trying to get him up with Shae' on his shoulder at the same time.  People are staring. Shae' starts crying again.  I take the baby so Tom can deal with Carter.  We then go checkout and while standing there waiting to pay Tom says he realizes why I won't leave home with both kids by myself yet. 


On to the following evening.....we go to the mall to have dinner and see a Christmas parade they do every night.  All starts out well....baby is sleeping, Carter is happy.  We go sit at the restaurant to eat dinner before the show.  Amazingly, Shae' sleeps the entire time and I'm able to eat my meal without rushing too much.  Then we get ready to pay and she's awake and ready to eat.  I have a bottle.  She refuses it.  We then are sitting in a busy restaurant with a screaming, hungry baby.  We pay and work our way out the door and into the mall for me to find somewhere to feed her.  She eats and we go outside for the parade.  Now this is the best 30 minutes of the whole evening.  Shae' sleeps on my shoulder while Carter dances on the sidewalk to the music.  It was a wonderful 30 minutes!  Maybe we should have called it good and went home after that.  But no.  We have a little shopping we need to do.  It's good for a little bit then baby gets fussy.  Tom sits in the middle of the mall holding her so I can run into a few stores.  I decide to take Carter with me so he's not stuck with both kids.  We go into Bath and Body Works and Carter tries to take the big candles off the shelf.  Then as we wait to check out, he tries putting a quarter into an outlet, plays with the displays and I find myself saying "Carter, no!" about 50 times.  Onto the next store.  Victoria's Secret.  Yep...I took my 2 year old in there with me...what was I thinking?  So, I'm on the hunt for pj's, a gift for my niece.  As I'm looking, I hear Carter say, "Mama! See?"  I turn around and he's holding a yellow bra up for me to see.  Yeah.....I about died.  To cut this story short (there's so much I could tell you!) that store experience ended with my trying to get Carter out from under a display, then chasing him around the display several times trying to catch him.....picking up the shoes he was kicking off as I went.  Pretty much one of the worst store experiences.  That entire evening ended with us about 3 miles from home and having to pull off to the side of the road because Shae' was screaming SO hard.  We had to just sit in the car and hold her to calm her down.  As we sat there, Tom makes this statement: "We're never leaving the house again." 


SO...all of that was to say this:  I have become one of 'those people'.  After all the looks I got between those two evenings, most from people without kids probably, I realized what I had become.  And I ACCEPTED it!  I used to look at 'those people' in disgust and think, "why can't they get a hold of their kids?"  Now, don't get me wrong, I am not dismissing the need for discipline and training your kids to be well behaved..even in public.  But I also have come to the understanding that they will not be perfect.  They're KIDS!  And when you have one colicky baby and one active 2 year old (that is probably just as tired from the crying baby as we are!), you just can't expect things to always go smooth...especially when out and about.  I will be working on Carter and his public outing 'skills'...and of course working with Shae' is an ongoing project, but I've decided not to stress too much about it.  I'm done with that.  I refuse to be embarrassed by my crazy kids.  So people might give disapproving looks...so what?  For every one of those looks I get, I also get an 'I've been there and know what it's like' look from an understanding parent.  Will I never get frustrated again when I'm out with my kids?  Of course I will!  Probably almost every time I go out actually...I'll just have to remind myself not to let it get to me.....they're only little once after all.  I'll forget all of this when they're older.  So my fix for being one of 'those people' is to just relax and enjoy the ride.  To try and find the fun in all the craziness.  And to stay home. HA.