Survivor!

I finally did it.  I FINALLY, after 3 months, took both kids out alone.  Pathetic, I know, that I've waited for so long....but with Shae's fussiness/colic/whatever it was the first few months, followed by sickness for 2 weeks, etc. etc.  I just have not been brave enough to do it.  And to be honest, I probably wouldn't have yesterday either, but a dear friend is 4 days overdue with her 2nd baby and I thought it'd be fun to meet up and walk the mall.  After her baby comes, it may be awhile before SHE'S brave enough to head out, so I loved the idea of getting together. I tried sending Carter to G'ma's house so I would just have the baby, but G'ma was busy yesterday so off I went with both kids.  And they did AMAZING!  No, really, they did!  I was only 10 minutes late leaving the house and the car ride there was peaceful.  Both kids were loaded into the double stroller and off we went!  We even had lunch at Nordstrom Cafe {the BEST if you haven't been} and the kids were great!  Carter sat in his chair and ate, then played right by our table and Shae' sat in my lap and attracted the attention of everyone who passed by.  {I'm convinced she will be my crowd stopper.  She's beautiful and smiles at everyone..quite the combo!}  We then walked, walked, walked...for nearly 3 hours we walked and talked and it was wonderful!   At one point, I did have to hold Shae' because she was sleepy and fighting it...so my friend had to push my massive stroller for me, but other than that, I'd say it was a perfect outing!  Even the car ride home was wonderful...both kids fell asleep and I got to listen to talk radio in peace as I drove. :)   I do credit my success to a few key things:


1. Comfortable Clothes
     I knew I would be dealing with the kids and didn't want to be uncomfortable (too hot, etc) with what I was wearing.


2. Comfortable Shoes
    I knew we'd be walking a lot.  I would normally wear boots, but knew my feet, legs, back would be hurting something awful by the time we left if I did.  So I chose my Coach sneakers and didn't have one bit of pain...I could've kept going a few more hours!


3. Patience, patience, patience!!! 
    I made up my mind before I left that even if the kids were out of control I was going to keep my cool.  Too often when they get worked up, I do too.  Knowing that it was very possible that would happen while we were out, I just decided that I would be prepared for it and deal with it as it came.  Thankfully, I didn't have to this time around...but my mindset made the day better for all of us anyway.


So there ya have it.....my story of survival. HA!  {pathetic what 'stay at home mom's' consider an adventure, huh?}  Now, I'm not planning to go out daily just because yesterday was a success.  I know I'll have a day all too soon where the baby screams nonstop and Carter acts like a typical 2 year old.   And let's face it:  it's just EASIER to be at home when you have small children...especially when you're exclusively breastfeeding one of them.  But at least I've gotten over the initial fear...and with spring/summer just around the corner, I'm now looking forward to {instead of dreading} the fun outings to come!  


And finally, here's a couple of pictures of my sweeties :)  These were taken last weekend when we went out on our 'family date'...which was also a HUGE success!  The kids were fabulous!  I think we're finally getting the hang of two kids.  

My sweet boy

Daddy with his princess

LOVE my babies! (and her face cracks me up! HA!)

Can you say "gorgeous"?  LOVE that smile :)

Goodbye

"Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest.

 I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all."  Ecclesiastes 9:10-11

We don't know when our time will come.  It's as simple as that.  For some, it seems it comes too soon.  "Goodbye" has to be the saddest word in the dictionary.  Tonight, we had Tom's parents over for dinner.  As they left and were saying their goodbye's, Carter stood at the door crying because "goodbye" is not easy.  At 2 years old, he doesn't understand how quickly tomorrow will be here and he will see them again.   And I guess at 29 I don't understand how quickly 'tomorrow' will come and we'll see our dear Sis. Kern again.  I must not, because when the news came today of her passing I wept.  Well, cried really.  Hard actually.  You see, 'goodbye' never gets any easier.  Even when we know it's not really 'goodbye', but more like, 'see you soon..save me a seat!'   The one bit of comfort comes in knowing that her suffering is over.  I'm sure she's already lining everyone out in Heaven and making sure they're all busy! haha  That's just Sis. Kern :)

This song has been on my mind this week and I've played it often.....

On that day when I see all that You have for me

When I see You face to face

There surrounded by Your grace

All my fears swept away in the light of Your embrace

Where Your love is all I need

And forever I am free

Where the streets are made of gold

In Your presence healed and whole

Let the songs of Heaven rise to You Alone

No weeping, no hurt or pain, no suffering

You hold me now, You hold me now

No darkness, no sick or lame, no hiding

You hold me now, You hold me now

I'm so glad she is free from pain, in her new body.  We weep, but her days of weeping are over!  She received her ultimate healing.  And we know we'll see her again....one day.

Like the old song says...."I've got more to go to Heaven for than I had yesterday"

We love you Sis. Kern.  You will be greatly missed.

 The Kern's with Shae' the day she was born. 

 We'll treasure this picture always!

One More Valley

It started this morning around 2:30a.m.  I laid in bed wide awake, unable to sleep.  And for the first time in a long time, it wasn't because of Shae'.  She lay in her bed next to mine sleeping soundly.   No...I could not get my dear Pastor's wife, Sis. Kern, out of my mind.  I know my blogging is usually about my kiddos, and that's what I started it for, but this is such a sad time for all of us around here.  Sis. Kern has been my Pastor's wife for 8 years now, and she's battled cancer for nearly 6 of those years.  We've all watched her go through it, bear the weight of it, fight it, nearly lose the fight with it only to rebound and keep on going.  It's been amazing to watch her strength.  I know she's suffered, but she's kept so much of it to herself.  It's been really hard the last month or so seeing her in the final stages of the cancer and unable to hide the suffering any longer.  


This post will be short.  I just wanted to share my burden and ask that anyone reading this, if you would please keep Sis. Kern in your prayers.  Pray she has peace and as little pain as possible.  And even more so, please keep Bro. Kern in prayer.  I know this is a very difficult time for him...their children as well.  


As I lay there thinking and praying for them all this morning, I kept seeing images of Pastor and Sis. Kern singing.  The church would light up every time they would bless us with a song.  Sis. Kern would get on the organ and they would start singing some of the old songs we don't get to hear very often.  Their favorite, and ours too, was "One More Valley".  The words are:


When I'm tossed on life's sea and the waves cover me,
And the clouds won't allow the sunshine through,
Then a voice seems to say, "Child, there'll be brighter day,
Don't allow the clouds to hide sweet Heaven's view."


'Cause you've got one more valley, one more hill,
Maybe one more trial, one more tear.
One more curve in life's road, maybe one more mile to go,
You can lay down your heavy load when you get home.


Don't let Satan see your fears, learn to smile thru all your tears
Hold your head up high and give the world a smile.
Just be faithful all the way, it'll be worth it all some day,
'Cause it's all gonna be over after while.

These words have never seemed more appropriate or meant as much as they do now.


I love you Sis. Kern.

Rough Day

There's nothing profound in this post.  It's been a rough day!  Carter isn't feeling well and Shae' has been fussy since last evening.  I've tried desperately the last 2 days to get a nap but although Carter has napped well, Shae' has chosen the last 2 afternoons to fuss at the only time I could be sleeping.  This has made for a very tired mommy :(   I did manage to get her settled this afternoon and laid down on the bed with her on my chest.  It was wonderful!  I think I started drooling instantly. HA!  But right as I got into a good sleep, Carter was crying and coughing really hard.  I ran to his room to see if he was throwing up and he wanted to be held.  I still had Shae' in my arms (who was now awake and crying too).  I sat in the floor of his room holding both kids as all 3 of us cried.  What a day!   I've been chanting, "This too shall pass" under my breath all evening. 


BUT, in the midst of all of it I was able to snag these pics today. 

Made it all worth it :) 

Vice or Virtue?

Resolutions.  We make them every year.  We break them every year.  Then we start the next year making them again.  I write down my goals at the end/beginning of each year.  Some goals make my list every year.  You know the ones most of us have: lose weight, get in shape, pray more, fast more, etc. etc. etc....

This year,  a lot of my goals are family and parenting oriented.  I'll confess something now and get it over with:  My biggest fear in life is being a bad parent.  It's been my fear since LONG before I had kids.  So in order to try and prevent that I am constantly checking and re-checking myself and my parenting methods.  Especially now that I have a toddler and everyday is some new challenge against my parenting skills.

One of my resolutions this year is to speak and think more positively.  About any and everything.  I have a tendency to think the worst too often and at times that comes out in my speech as well.  So I am striving toward a more positive disposition.  

Well, in reading my GFI toddler book this last week {in order to work on my parenting!} I came across some amazing stuff!  I've read it before...several times actually...but it has been awhile and, quite frankly, I had forgotten it.   It talks about how as parents of toddlers, we spend as much time restraining wrong behavior as we do encouraging right behavior.  And while words of restraint are necessary during the training process, what type of words are we using?  Ephesians 4:29 says, "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying that it may minister grace to the hearer." The book goes on to say this:

'The word 'corrupt' carries the meaning to 'decay' or 'cause injury' or 'pain'.  How often do your words injure?  When communicating with your children, attempt to use positive words as often as possible.  Even in times of correction you can speak from the 'negative side of the virtue' rather than the 'negative side of the vice'.  Most 'wrong' behavior is broken into the vice or virtue category.  The vice category is negative, the virtue is positive.  If a child does something wrong, parents tend to describe the negative side of the behavior.'

How often have I been guilty of this?  How often do I hear other parents describing the negative?  Too often, that's for sure.  Some examples would be: instead of telling a child, "hitting is mean", why not, "Hitting is unkind"?  'Mean' represents the negative side of the vice, 'unkind' represents the negative side of the virtue.  Or how about instead of, "Are you lying?" say, "Are you telling the complete truth?"  How about this one: instead of, "You're acting selfish" try, "You're not thinking of others."  Using the negative side of the virtue is far better than using the negative side of the vice.    Some vice/virtue comparisons are:

VICE                    VIRTUE

Neglectful             Attentive

Haste                    Patience

Rough                  Gentle

Disobedience       Obedience

Messiness            Orderliness

Rude                    Gracious

Jealousy              Contentment

Meanness            Kindness

Careless               Responsible

Prideful               Humble

Impulsive            Self-Control

Selfish                 Other-centered

Violent                Peaceful

So...this is definitely part of my resolutions list for 2011 and beyond.   I want my children to imitate and reflect back to me and to others the virtues they hear coming from my lips.  I am writing Ephesians 4:29 along with the Vice/Virtue comparisons on a sheet of paper and plan on taping it to my mirror.  This is something I need to be reminded of daily.  It's also something I will have to pray about daily because speaking the virtue does not come naturally for me.  

How about for you?  Vice or Virtue?

Here are 2 reasons I am striving to be a better person! :-)